O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
