Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I did not marry a roomba.
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