So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
