yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You took a bar mat shot.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
