never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
