She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
a search helicopter?!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
