I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
