I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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