at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize