been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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