What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
