Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
