Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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