I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
they need to just BURY HIM!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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