Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
