no, he came in my armpit
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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