K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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