yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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