Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
