On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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