dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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