woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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