Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think I died a long time ago.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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