It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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