Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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