if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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