hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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