is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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