Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
