He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
