Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
