i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
and she was petting her beer can
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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