on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
