I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just gargled with NyQuil
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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