it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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