This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
