There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
