You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
