Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
