GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
