This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
