My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
