check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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