left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
