it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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