you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
