I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Randomize
