He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
