Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
