there's paper in my vomit.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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